A letter of thanks.

We wanted to thank NHFYW for accepting our daughter Emily, and in many ways Karen and I too. Though we knew that the program was not going to be a complete solution to our problems, it was hoped to be a beginning foundation for the love, communication and sensitivity for us that seemed to slip through our fingers during the previous year.

What we knew we had was a good family, a good daughter, and a keen desire by us to bring everything back to where it was when life was pleasurable for us all and not a tense environment. And it wasn't too long ago when that life was good and the environment strong with love and communication, so we hoped that if we found a solution soon that our lives (Emily's, Karen's and mine) and relationships would be salvageable.

The situations over the last year had gotten worse, and were affecting the family as a whole. Finally, Karen found an advertisement in Southern Living Magazine for 'Daughters At Risk'. Karen called, got the application, and we spent the whole night filling out the documents. The application itself was the beginning of the retrospective for ourselves (and Emily's later). We found that we had so much to learn about ourselves before we even began being able to come together with Emily in a constructive and meaningful way. In order for New Horizons to be a successful program, parents have to be willing to devote the time and energy needed to reach the goal of helping their daughter. We found all of the staff ready and able to help us onto the right track.

The deception and secrecy from Emily prior to us bringing her up to the program was gut wrenching. The ride to Maine was a nightmare come true. Leaving her behind seemed cowardice. The New Horizon's staff knew exactly how we as parents felt. When the time finally came to say good-bye to Emily, we knew we were leaving her in a safe environment. We felt confident that we were doing the best for our daughter and felt the sincere caring and desire that the staff was ready and willing to help us through this journey. From first contact we knew these were special and unique people.

At first Emily was against everything and could not believe she was expected to live eight weeks in the outdoors. As she stated many times, "I am an indoor person, not an outdoor person". As time past, Emily finally gave in and decided to give this place, New Horizons a chance. All of a sudden she showed interest. The beauty of the outdoors caught her eye. She took hundreds of pictures. She started writing about her adventures and was more amazed then us about the many different activities she conquered. Slowly her confidence in herself returned. She started to like herself again. Her anger was slowly being replaced with excitement and pride. She tried hard to express her dislikes of New Horizons, but the truth shown through as she spoke to others about her summer experiences. Emily's entire life has changed. She is strong and shows that. She stands up straight and tall. She has an opinion on many topics and wants to share them with us. She feels good about the decisions that she is making. The road ahead is long and there will be many ups and downs. From New Horizons Emily received a wonderful foundation. This foundation will carry her through life, not just her adolescent years. Emily received the tools to move her life forward in a positive way. Emily was given a true gift from everyone at New Horizons. If she does not realize that now, one-day in the future she will. Our hope as parents is that she will pass these gifts onto others that she meets through her journey of life. What a greater gift to give that what she has received. Love oneself, Pride, Caring, Confidence, Patience, Hope, these are just some of the gifts that we were given to her at New Horizons.

The letter writing was a wonderful avenue of communication. The letters brought out the issues that caused so much pain. The responses to the letters allowed us to begin to communicate with her, negotiate with her, find solutions with her. Letter writing allowed us to stop and think, to catch our breath, to put into words the emotions of our thoughts, instead of screaming, crying, and throwing anger at each other. Eilean was masterful in speaking with us, guiding us and proposing direction. She was extremely patient and made us feel no matter what we said it was important. We looked forward to her weekly phone calls. Eilean was always positive whether she was giving us a good report or negative one. We as parents grew from the conversations with her.

The program gave each of us a chance to take a breath for a period of time, to relax, amd take a reprieve from each other.

We hoped that while she was gone, the program would create a foundation of change for Emily and that things were going to be different when she came back. A structured program for Emily, her letter writing, her journal writing, 'group' sessions, would allow for her to reflect on her life and situations. We also hoped that with all the work Karen and I were doing (assignments, sessions, talking, reading), that we were also going to change (because it was essential we had to change).

As it turned out, this experience was excellent for Emily, Karen and I. We resolved so many issues, one of which was attending the local High School. The other was the rules and consequences for actions taken that may not have good judgment associated with it. The negotiations of rules and consequences went smoothly. We learned how to communicate with each other. We recognized that respect for one another was extremely important.

Upon meeting up with Emily, it seemed that she was a changed woman. She had a chance to be introspective, and reflect; and so had we. We believe that it was important that she and we changed, not just her. We believe it was NHFYW that was the catalyst for this. But we know that NHFYW is not the complete answer and solution, it is just the beginning. It will take much more work on our part to ensure that the quick solutions become the long-term reality of our future relationship and understanding.

Emily was extremely insightful about her experiences at New Horizons. Emily was able to identify all the things that helped at the camp and figures out a way to continue those activities in the real world. From journal writing, eating properly, learning to relax and exercising, she is incorporating them all into her everyday life. Emily has been able to identify with the situations that put her at risk, she realizes that her whole life is ahead of her. She is eager to jump in and be a part of the world around her. Emily has also showed true caring and concern toward the girls she spent the summer with. So many of those positive characteristics that Emily once had, have resurfaced. Emily truly was the lost soul that was able to find herself in the beautiful woods of Maine.

Thank you NHFYW, for getting us to this point. It feels good. It is a wisp of fresh air on a hot and tired face.

Have a good year.

Nick and Karen

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